3 Ways to Transform Your Life After Divorce

Divorce can be healthy for you.

You read that right! Not your usual drama, victim, gossip girl here – when life gives you lemons, choose to thrive! I promise you: change, however painful is happening FOR you, not to you! Divorce is a catalyst for transformation – an epic do-over, so make it count!

My purpose is to change the world through community, connection, and coaching. Transforming your life after divorce starts with creating a new kind of divorce language and mindset, because we are what we think and become what we desire. Who you are is what you believe! Massive change is massive opportunity!

Here are three ways you can begin to transform your life after divorce:

1. Transformation Starts with Making a Decision

Divorce is one of the toughest human experiences an individual can go through. It’s a personal crisis that is ranked #2 only to death of spouse on the Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory. Not surprising: separation from partner is #3.

For so many of us, we are stuck in indecision, unable to make the necessary changes in our life because of the shame, stigma, fear, and unknowns. This leaves us more isolated, depressed, and powerless wreaking havoc on confidence, happiness, and emotional wellbeing.

The power of making a decision is life changing. When we push past fear of the unknown, readiness, limiting beliefs and start taking control of life one intentional decision at a time, we start to thrive. Remember: no decision is still a decision. What is the cost of your decision to stay the same – health, happiness, freedom, peace? What is your potential if you make a decision for your greatest desires? Abundance, Joy, Love.

Your commitment and persistence to making decisions that matter to your health and wellbeing allows for healing, learning and growth to occur. You are worthy of making tough decisions that matter to you on your terms, in order to live your best life – even during massive change and challenge.

2. Breaking Down Generational Cycles

The women I serve are breaking down generational cycles of stigma of what it is to be a woman navigating midlife. All the titles that we wear with pride — as mother, wife, daughter, professional, volunteer (and so on) — can become all-consuming and if left unchecked, they can swallow up our identity. We lose our sense of self, and our purpose for who we are and what matters most to us.

When we lose our self-worth, we compromise on our boundaries and our voice becomes muted. At one end of the spectrum women are finding their identities and standing in their power while at the other end women are ending cycles of dysfunctional family’s systems of neglect, abuse, and addiction. The power of healing women is the power of future generations being whole, happy, and thriving — and it starts in our hearts, homes, and communities first.

3. New Type of Leadership in the Divine Feminine

A new type of leadership is unfolding in the world that is asking women to slow down, focus on what matters and exist from a place of being – a divine intuitive gift that extends from our most authentic self. To have compassion for ourselves just as we are, knowing that we are more than enough in our own bodies, hearts and homes and for what we put out into the world. That we can thrive on our own and just as we are. We model a greatness that is a new definition of success. Dropping the hustle and prosperity for peace and abundance. Life can be received with ease and I AM worthy!

Thrive Through Crisis

Women coming up through a massive change and personal crisis like divorce have an opportunity for transformation — to be bold, brilliant, beautiful, and brave. To thrive in life is to thrive through crisis.

Remember: challenge and change are happening for you – not to you! Growth and Progress seldom come from a place of comfort. Divorce is about as uncomfortable as it gets, but the way you choose to show up will be the greatest game changer for you and your family.

When we learn how to accept what has happened, take ownership of our actions, and adopt a growth mindset with a positive outlook, we can turn crisis into an opportunity to do an inventory of our whole life. It is for us to decide how we can create space for personal wellness, authenticity, and power.

For all the shoulda, woulda, coulda, we stay open, responsive, and positive as we look forward to the future. Failure is learning. Growth is healing. Evolution is Becoming.

Divorce is not the thing that will make you happy, raise your self-esteem or reduce symptoms of depression.

It is the catalyst that can help you learn to approach challenges, massive change and grief. Life is hard, scary, and filled with unknowns. Your ability to find transferable skills through ages, stages and seasons is the mastery of evolution and sustained personal happiness. Crisis can be opportunity if you choose – so don’t let divorce define you, allow it to refine you!