Separating from your partner can make it seem as if a piece of your heart has been taken away from you—not to mention the long and taxing process of divorce further leaving you in a state of disarray.

It’s important to know that you’re not alone. The US alone reports an astounding number of 746,971 divorce cases in a year, out of over 2 million marriages. Divorce is more common than you think (or might want to believe). Maybe you’ve given too much of yourself to another person and you don’t have anything left, and you’re wondering what you can do to help with the healing process. Here are five self-love tips that can send you on your way to feeling whole and happy.

1. Process your feelings

It can be extremely tempting to just hole up in your room when you’re feeling down. Binge-watch that reality show, order takeout, sleep, rinse and repeat. But this cycle of running away from your feelings will just prolong your heartache, and can even make it harder for you to heal. It’s okay to think back to the ups and downs of your marriage, forgive (maybe not forget) both parties for where things went wrong, and accept that things will be changing for you—and for the better!

To make this easier, a lot of people start journaling to make it easier for them to express their thoughts. Talk therapy is also a popular option when you’re having trouble processing feelings of grief, guilt, or anxiety that can come with divorce. A licensed therapist can give you a chance to gain a new perspective on yourself, and identify what you like and dislike in partnerships. You may also want to look into family therapy, especially if you are also concerned for your children.

process your feelings
  1. Rediscover or learn new hobbies

One of the top reasons for divorce includes incompatibility. Most likely you’ve sacrificed some of the things you loved doing for the sake of your marriage. Thankfully, this is the time to revisit all of your past hobbies—maybe you loved doing DIY, traveling, or gardening. Spoil yourself and do things that make you happy, this is an effective way to start a new daily routine and empower yourself once again. Signing up for something new is also a great way to refresh yourself and bring back the excitement to your life. Science can even back this up because doing new things rewires your brain and creates new neural pathways, which can help your emotional healing growth.

3. Build back your confidence

The arduous process of dealing with a problematic relationship and divorce has most likely hindered you from properly taking care of your body. Building your confidence back up takes a lot of work and patience—but it can be the most enjoyable process and rewarding feeling! Treat your body right by sleeping eight hours, drinking lots of water, and eating healthy food. Focus on reaching your peak again as you build the best skincare routine for your needs and wear things that make you feel beautiful. Making time for simple routines, like breaking the acne cycle by being consistent with your skincare process, can make you feel more confident and in control of yourself. Being confident is all about how you feel inside, but it’s also highly dependent on how you treat yourself.

4. Reconnect or meet new people

Remember, there was a time when you enjoyed doing things alone or in the company of your friends. It’s high time to plan a night out! Amidst all your planned activities, don’t be afraid to meet new people. Whether or not you’re planning on entering a new relationship, simply reconnecting or finding new friends will help you expand your outlook in life and give you a new perspective. This is especially helpful if your past relationship had both of your worlds exclusively revolving around each other.

party time
  1. Love yourself more

No matter what your age is, or how long your relationship lasted, the most important lesson you can gain from going through a divorce is to love yourself unconditionally first and foremost. You are your own person, and if you can’t love yourself, it’s going to be harder to love other people. Life won’t end after a divorce—in fact, it’s only the beginning of a fresh and exciting phase in your life!



Article exclusively written for

young woman with bangs

Rita Jordan is a personal development and lifestyle blogger as well as an aspiring author.

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P.S. Want more tools and resources to stay positive during a divorce? Download my Free Divorce Survive & Thrive Kit below!



The Radically Positive Way
to Separate

Gabrielle Hartley with Elena Brower

Available on Amazon

“Potent, accessible tools for your family and your future.”
— Gwyneth Paltrow, New York Times Bestselling Author and Founder of GOOP





DISCLAIMER: The commentary, advice, and opinions from Gabrielle Hartley are for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice or mental health services. You should contact an attorney and/or mental health professional in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.


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