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What Most Couples Have Never Been Told About Taking Their Divorce to Court

Most people are pretty sure they understand what happens when you take a divorce to court. From the outside looking in, it sounds pretty simple: you go in, you tell the judge what you want, you argue a bit with your ex and it’s all done.

That does sound simple. Unfortunately, that’s not what happens.

Court takes forever.  We have due process.  This means that everyone (even your difficult or narcissist ex) gets the chance to argue their side.  No matter how ridiculous you may think it is.

Court is a game. And like with any other game, there are rules that must be followed.  This is the reason that court takes so long and costs a lot of money.

When you go this route, you and your ex will likely each hire a lawyer to go to court and make your best case (the best defense is a strong offense). You and your ex will submit the most precious and sacred details of your life to the judge, a stranger in black robes, in open court…a room that could potentially be filled with other people.

There is very little privacy in this process, and even though you will be footing the bill, you will retain nearly no control. What this means is that your divorce can drag on for years and there won’t be much that you can do about it.

If you’re arguing over custody and you go to court, there will be a long list of court-ordered strangers potentially evaluating, investigating and judging each of you in an effort to create a report on parenting.

If you’re a business owner, there will be full evaluations and disclosures made, not only to your soon-to-be ex, but to the court, on the legal record.

If there was infidelity of any kind, it’s unlikely to have any impact on the outcome of your case, but it may be shared in court where other people can hear it.  It may be exaggerated in court documents, which may float around for years to come (and who knows what will wind up online in the future.)

In addition to just being annoying and extremely expensive, all of this can stir up anger, pain, and resentment that can last for generations. You can emerge on the other side of divorce frustrated, spent and not knowing which way to go.

These are just a few of the issues most divorcing couples don’t know about until they get too far into the process to  back out.

Am I exaggerating? Sadly, no. In fact, things can get much worse than the disaster I’ve already described. It is not a situation I would wish on my worst enemy.

That’s why it is my life’s work to help keep divorcing couples out of the court experience whenever possible. This is why I wrote Better Apart, The Radically Positive Way to Separate.

Very few people realize there is an alternate path. Even fewer people realize how to transform that path into one of the most powerful experiences of their life.

Better Apart Divorce Mediation allows you and your soon to be ex to keep your personal life private and your future in your own hands.

It is a path to a peaceful out-of-court divorce and a healthy post-divorce life for you and your family.

Yes, you can still have experts including lawyers, financial analysts, real estate experts and the like involved, if necessary, but you can emerge from your marriage with more money in your pocket, your relationships intact and a clear view of what’s next for you.  With Better Apart Divorce Mediation, you can lay the groundwork  to a better future for you and your family.  And, since it is all online, you can do it all from the comfort of your own home.