The Difference Between A Settlement Conference vs Mediation

Settlement conference vs mediation: is one actually better than the other?

In short, no. Their goal is the same: to settle your divorce. But it’s good to understand what option would be best for your situation.

There are two types of settlement conferences, mandatory and voluntary. A mandatory settlement conference has been ordered by a judge in an effort to get your divorce moving again. A voluntary settlement conference, which we’ll be discussing today, is just that, voluntary. Settlement conferences happen when you and your spouse both have attorneys.

Mediation is also voluntary but does not require that you have attorneys. You may or may not have lawyers, it doesn’t matter. The goal is the same for settlement conferences and mediation which is to settle your divorce.

What happens in a Settlement Conference?

This meeting will happen in an attorney’s office. You and your spouse and your respective attorneys will be present and you’ll discuss ways to settle your differences and end your marriage. And that’s it. Sounds simple but it isn’t because emotions are high and nerves are frayed.

Once you make the decision to have a settlement conference you’ll decide in which attorney’s office it will take place. One of the attorneys will need to travel to the other’s office and whoever does the traveling will bill their client for their travel time. That’s probably not going to be a big deal if you live in a small town. But if you live in a large metropolitan area it could become an unexpected expense because of distance and traffic. If that’s your situation I would advocate for an online meeting that way everyone’s time, and money, can be spent wisely.

Benefits of A Settlement Conference

A huge benefit of a settlement conference is that your attorney is right there with you offering support, defending you and advising you. That’s probably why you hired them, to feel safe, to advocate for you and to give you legal guidance. The downside in this scenario is that since their focus is on protecting and advocating for their client reaching a settlement may not be their number one priority at the moment.

There are no neutrals involved in a settlement conference. If you have financial experts working on your divorce and you have attorneys, those experts are more than likely working for your side or your spouse’s. Translation: they are working as an advocate, not as a neutral.

A settlement conference can take several hours and you may only get one chance to settle your entire divorce before heading to court.

What happens at a Mediation?

Mediation will take place at the mediator’s office. That means, if it’s in person, everyone has to travel and one side isn’t receiving preferential treatment. Where to meet isn’t the hard part about mediation, it’s agreeing on who the mediator will be. When you hire an attorney you are the sole decision maker. You, and only you, need to be comfortable with your choice. Not so with mediation. It’s hard to make such a big agreement so early on in the process when you and your spouse can’t seem to agree about anything. I’ve seen people fight over this and not want to talk to certain mediators simply because their spouse “found” them first. In truth it doesn’t matter who finds the mediator first; what matters is that you both feel comfortable with that person and feel that you can trust them and that they will be neutral.

Benefits of a Mediation

An important point to understand is that mediators are neutral and cannot take your side or advocate for you. They also are forbidden from giving you any sort of legal advice. You may find that you’ll need extra help understanding your financial situation and need a financial expert to join in on the mediation. If you hire a financial expert to assist you they will function as a neutral party.

Family mediation sessions are run differently than a settlement conference. There is less pressure to settle on the same day and the sessions don’t usually last for hours on end. It’s normal to have more than one session with some space between each meeting to collect yourself and get mentally prepared for the next meeting. Each mediator is different so know how they operate before you sign up to have them work with you.

Choosing between a Settlement Conference vs Mediation

Divorce is stressful no matter what. The method you choose, settlement conference or mediation, is less important than how you choose to approach it. My best advice for you is to try to settle early. It will obviously save you money, but it will also save you stress. Peace of mind is priceless and will contribute to your health and well-being. Bonus points if you have kids and they see their parents resolving their disagreements in a respectful manner.