What Is A Divorce Settlement Conference And How Can It Benefit You?

Whether a couple chooses to mediate or go to court, there may be certain issues that one or both parties might not see eye to eye on. 

Despite the fact that divorce is a financial and legal process, it is easy to conflate financial and logistical issues with emotional and sometimes, even mental ones. 

While mediation may allow for the emotional issues to be resolved on some level, there is often less allowance for this in a court setting, where a judge is the one deciding on any and all aspects of a family’s post-divorce plan. Moreover, the back and forth between divorce attorneys in a drawn-out case will not only drive up the legal fees for the parties; it can also negatively affect the emotional and mental well-being of the whole family. 

Nobody wants their divorce process to drag on for longer than necessary. But when this seems inevitable in court, there is another option that is available to divorcing parties: have a settlement conference.

What is a settlement conference?

A settlement conference is a meeting where the divorcing parties can attempt to resolve their issues while a supervisor facilitates the negotiations. In a settlement conference, the decision on each issue ultimately lies on the agreement of both parties; unlike in a court setting where the judge has the final say on their personal matters.

Depending on the case, a settlement conference is usually attended by both parties’ lawyers, and is supervised by a family law attorney, a mediator, or a judge. The main purpose of settlement conferences is to allow the divorcing parties an opportunity to resolve their issues together, and to reach an agreement on all or as many issues as possible.

During these meetings, the settlement attorney or mediator will engage the parties in dispute resolution techniques and employ a structured approach to negotiation. The meetings may be held in a courtroom, in an attorney’s office, or even online, and can take between a few hours or be spread out over several days.

Different types of divorce settlement conferences

1. Voluntary settlement conference

At any time during their divorce process, a couple may decide to partake in a divorce settlement conference voluntarily. In such cases, the meetings can be unsupervised, and only the separating spouses and their attorneys are required to attend.

However, the couple may still decide to hire a mediator who can serve as a neutral third party who will facilitate the discussions in person or online efficiently and in a structured manner. With a skilled mediator (preferably an attorney mediator), a couple can keep even the most complicated and highly contested issues private and in their own hands.

2. Mandatory settlement conference

Even though a couple may choose to go to court, they can still be ordered by the presiding judge to attend a settlement conference. This may happen pre-trial, during, or even later in the case — especially when it is prolonged by complex issues.

At a mandatory conference, aside from the spouses and their lawyers, an attorney or mediator is required to supervise the negotiations. It is also possible for a judge (who will not be handling the case in court) to facilitate the meeting. It is best to have your settlement conference in a neutral setting.

Online options can make the process smooth and simple. You can also do it in an office or the courthouse.

In most cases, the pros of a settlement conference can far outweigh the cons, but it is still important to weigh both sides against your divorce case. 

Why a settlement conference may not be right for you:

1. One or both parties are unable to participate.

Whether they are refusing to cooperate in a productive discussion or are simply unable to interact civilly in a structured negotiation, a settlement conference may prove ineffective for the couple. 

2. It is in your personal or family’s interest to have a judge decide on certain matters.

Sometimes, going to court can be the best option for divorcing couples. This can be due to their issues being too complex to resolve in a collaborative setting, or because there are extenuating circumstances that render one or both parties unable to reach a reasonable agreement privately.

Here are the advantages of a settlement conference:

1. It is less expensive than a court trial.

Dragging out a divorce at court can cause fees to skyrocket. And even if the couple can afford it, ultimately, prolonging this stressful process can take a negative toll on the mental and emotional health not only of the spouses, and any children they may have together. 

Attending a settlement conference gives the spouses the opportunity to close their case in a more cooperative manner, and usually, in a shorter amount of time. 

2. It allows you to resolve your case privately.

When a couple decides to litigate their divorce, the proceedings in a family court become a public matter. This means that their information will become accessible to the public. 

Meanwhile, a settlement conference allows the couple to review their issues privately, albeit still in a professional and legal setting. Your personal family matters remain confidential, and anything discussed in a settlement conference cannot be used as evidence if for any reason your case still ends up in family court.

3. You are able to decide on your family’s issues.

Perhaps one of the biggest advantages that a settlement conference can offer is the power to decide on your personal and family issues. At the end of the day, you know your situation best.

Being able to agree on different aspects of your post-divorce life and how you will raise any children you have with your soon-to-be ex is not only empowering; it also allows you to achieve some level of emotional closure — something that is not so readily available when it is a judge deciding on your matters at court. You become the master of your own destiny instead of leaving it to a stranger and black robes.

How to prepare for a settlement conference

1. Consult with your attorney

The best decision you can make is an informed one. Before you decide to participate in a settlement conference, consult with your lawyer in order to determine the right path for you and your family.

Your divorce strategy should prioritize the well-being of all the members of your family (yes, even your ex), and ultimately this will be the deciding factor when you are considering which divorce process to engage in.

2. Prepare financial statements and other legal documents

All divorce processes will inevitably require both parties to disclose their financial statements, and preparing these and other relevant legal documents is a great way to help the discussions move forward. Disclosing these documents voluntarily allows for a more cooperative environment, and can give both parties a better understanding of which issues need to be addressed.

3. Make a list of your ideal outcomes for each issue

This has a twofold purpose: firstly, having a list of all the issues you want to address will help your mediator create a more structured flow of negotiations during your meetings. It will also allow you to set clear goals for your settlement conference.

Secondly, getting clear on your priorities and preferences can help you better articulate your needs and wants during your discussions. While your final agreement may not reflect your ideal outcome (in fact, it may even be the opposite), being familiar with your issues will help you keep things in perspective. 

There are many ways a couple can navigate divorce — and throughout this complex transition, it is not uncommon for the parties to hit an impasse.

When this happens, especially when your case is already in family court, choosing to participate in a settlement conference can be a productive and compassionate option for you to find a reasonable resolution that is tailored to you and your family’s needs.