Most people don’t talk about the positive effects of divorce as the word “divorce” has a bad connotation, and ending a relationship, especially a marriage, can be complicated.
The first few stages of divorce can be very hectic for both sides, but the end of a marriage can be a great start to your life. In fact, your divorce may help you get back in gear if you have been unhappy in your relationship. As messy as many divorces can be, they can be the start of new things in your life. After all, it is a practical decision to get out of an incompatible marriage that’s beyond repair.
1 The positive effects of divorce on your family life
A divorce can be tough on children, but an unstable home with constant conflict, arguments, and unhappiness could be worse for them. Once you have dealt with the divorce process, you can reunite with your children and focus on them. Even if you have shared parenting, the fact is that each parent’s time with the children is limited, so they are incentivized to be more involved.
In my experience, after a divorce, the parent who was less involved becomes more mindful of their responsibility to their children.
You and your partner will have different approaches, opinions, or wishes at some point in your relationship. These can lead to arguments and disagreements that can take a mental toll on you. It can be very chaotic and frustrating. It may be hard to indulge in self-care during this period, which may lower your self-esteem and self-confidence. Being married may not allow you to relax and take a break from the responsibilities of marriage.
One of the positive effects of divorce is that once the dust settles, you can finally focus on appreciating your skills and achievements. It might be the perfect time to work towards your personal goals, focus on your career, or a hobby that brings you joy.
2 Improving your social life
You may find that you have more time than before after divorce. This is another one of the positive effects of divorce as you can take this opportunity to spend more time with friends and family who you may not have seen in a while. Most people lose touch with old friends when they have been in a long-term relationship, like marriage.
It might also be a good time to reach out to some of the old friends you used to be close with. Reconnecting with old friends can give you the positivity needed after a divorce, as it can often be a very stressful process.
It may take some time before you can build an active social life. Revamping your social life can help you avoid the loneliness one might feel after divorce.
You can work towards building a better social life in the following ways:
- Allow friends and family to reach out to you and comfort you during and after the divorce.
- Do not be afraid to reach out to mutual friends you and your spouse had; cutting them off will isolate you.
- Now that you have time to pursue new interests, hobbies, and jobs, this could be an excellent opportunity to make new friends.
While it is possible to maintain friendships from your marriage, seeing friends who are too close to your ex-spouse might not be the best idea because it might make it hard for you to move on after a divorce. Instead, you might benefit from meeting new people. After all, divorces are a chance to start fresh and take on new things in life.
3 Having complete control over your money
In my experience, it is pretty common for a married couple to disagree on budget priorities. According to this source, money might be the number one reason couples fight. Lisa Smith says, “according to nearly every survey on the topic, arguments about money have the dubious honor of being the number one source of conflict between married people.”
Divorcing is not only a legal separation – it untangles your financial ties, too. And if financial decisions are one of the pain points in your marriage, then one of the positive effects of divorce is that it can also mark the end of arguments over money.
Now you have the freedom to build up your savings or invest more towards your retirement fund. You can focus on personal needs more, like going on a trip or paying off your debts. You and your ex-spouse might have a hard time dividing existing debt between each other, but if you are willing to divorce peacefully, this can be resolved in mediation; otherwise, litigation is also an option.
Remember: dividing all debt into a 50-50 split might not be good for both of you. Credit card debt collectors might only hold one of you responsible for their debts and not the other. You can always get help with your money from a professional in this case. They can help you settle your debt or plan your future investments.
The bottom line
A divorce may not seem like the most positive of things, but it can change your life for the better.
Because each parent gets limited time, their kids get the attention and support they need. Although going through a divorce can be stressful, you can find a new sense of freedom in it. You have more time and energy to do things for yourself. Self-care can make you feel better about yourself and boost your confidence.
It’s the best time to focus on your social life, get back together with your friends and family, and meet new people. Financial freedom is also something to look forward to because you won’t have to argue about money anymore.
It may not be immediately apparent, but with enough time and effort, you can also enjoy the positive effects of divorce.
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DISCLAIMER: The commentary, advice, and opinions from Gabrielle Hartley are for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice or mental health services. You should contact an attorney and/or mental health professional in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.
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