Having questions before marriage is a good thing.

Getting married is easy.  Breaking up is less so.

In the last twenty six years working as a divorce lawyer and mediator, I’ve seen thousands of relationships fall apart.  And often, the break up is complicated and messy. But, it doesn’t have to be that way.  Asking the right questions before marriage, and weighing out the real-life considerations of what’s to come in the futures smart.  There are so many things to think about beyond sparks and romance.  What are your expectations about how you will spend your free time?  When do you want children?  Do you want to have children at all? If you have any question, even a funny question before you get married go ahead and ask it.  It is always better to know what you are getting into before it’s too late.

Nobody likes a wedding as much as I do.

When I married, I loved everything from selecting my wedding dress picking out china (does anybody even do that anymore?) making the music playlist. But, after more than twenty five years serving as a divorce lawyer and mediator, is that getting married is very serious business. Getting married is easy.  Disentangling is much harder. Marriage is a partnership. Before you get married, you need to carefully consider lots of things beyond chemistry. Asking questions before marriage can save you tons of heartache later

Your marriage is a financial partnership.

Your marriage is a partnership, and as unromantic as it sounds, it is first and foremost, a financial one. Here is simple budget sheet to get you off to the right start. I suggest you print two copies of this pre-marriage budget sheet and that you each fill it out.  Then discuss. See where you are in agreement and where you diverge.  Your marriage, is the launchpad to the rest of your life.  Have the hard conversations now.  It will be easy later.

When we are getting married, it can be so easy to focus on the romance and fun of it all that we can lose our practical minds.  

By thinking things through and asking the difficult questions before marriage, you will make it easier for you and your family for years to come.

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DISCLAIMER: The commentary, advice, and opinions from Gabrielle Hartley are for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice or mental health services. You should contact an attorney and/or mental health professional in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.


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