5 Qualities That Will Help You Have A Successful Divorce

When you’re starting the process of getting divorced, if you’re like many of our clients, you may be feeling like your whole world has been flipped upside down.

Maybe you feel as if you’ve failed yourself and your family, and that making it through to the other side of this mess is impossible.

But here’s a secret you need to know: you have complete control over how you think and behave during your divorce. Figuring out how to have a successful divorce can seem daunting, but it is not impossible. Whether it feels like it right now or not, absolutely everything you need to navigate your divorce with grit and grace is already within you.

You just need to learn how to channel and harness these superpowers the right way.

Here are the top five personal qualities you should focus on and guide you towards a successful divorce.

1. Have a growth mindset

Reframing how you view your divorce is an essential starting point. Divorce really is an opportunity to have an epic do-over on your life – that is, if you’re willing and wanting to learn how to make a difference for yourself during this challenging time.

If you’re able to show up for yourself and work to improve yourself for the future, rather than retreading through the past, you’ll be setting yourself up properly for success. This experience is not happening to you – it is happening for you! This is about uncoupling, personal success, financial independence and family planning. It is time to heal, learn and evolve because you are powerful, brilliant, beautiful and brave.

2. Take ownership of your divorce.

It doesn’t really matter how you got here – whether he cheated, you cheated, or the relationship just slipped away slowly. Either way, you’re getting a divorce, and it’s time for you to take ownership for your part in it. By owning up to our own actions, we allow ourselves to move forward, rather than getting stuck in a negative narrative where we envision ourselves as the victim, martyr, or scorned ex-wife. You are none of these things – you are mother $%^# mom and the leading lady! Who done its, shoulda, woulda, coulda, no longer matter.

Moving through this experience with integrity and honour respecting yourself and your family means dropping the shame and blame game so that you can stand safely in your truth. You are uncoupling your partnership and committed to your new family dynamic as co-parents.

3. Accept it.

Whether you like it or not, your divorce is happening. In order to move forward, you need to accept that change is necessary to grow, evolve, and flourish, and it truly can be an opportunity for greatness in your life. You may not feel ready for this, but really, who’s ever ready for massive, life-altering change?

It’s okay that you don’t feel ready, but it’s time to accept that it’s happening and get on board. This is your time to become informed, find resources, community and build skills. Claim your value and leverage the results you desire.

4. Embrace the power of positivity.

Even if you’re far from feeling happy right now, you can still choose to be positive. By viewing this experience in a positive mind frame, you’ll begin to manifest a more positive experience by feeling more confident in your ability to control your own choices, and your ability to reframe the narrative.

In most situations, we can usually find a positive outlook, even amidst the worst of scenarios – you just have to work at it. Remember this: True happiness is not the absence of struggle, but rather finding a way through it. Life, like divorce does not get easier – you get stronger!

5. Turn to mindfulness as a mental resilience.

Without a doubt, the experience of going through your divorce will challenge you constantly. Practicing mindfulness (or, if you prefer, something more spiritual or faith-based) will teach you how to be more aware, focused, and in control of your thoughts and actions. When certain events throughout the divorce process feel triggering or uncomfortable, you’ll know how to return to yourself in the moment and access calming techniques to help you cope.

Heal through what you go through. Whatever is coming up for you is meant for you so that you can heal and grow. This in turn becomes a beautiful opportunity to nurture yourself. Reconnect to who you are and what you want so that you can have the courage to live in your authenticity with intention in every moment.

This experience shakes up everything and using it as a catalyst for personal discovery allows you to start prioritizing yourself, elevating your energy and confidence so that you start attracting the life you desire according to your inner knowing – all those dreams placed on hold for this or that is no longer an option. Dropping burnout to reclaim your purpose!

Ready to take the next steps towards a successful divorce?

No matter how overwhelmed you might feel right now, it’s absolutely possible to learn to divorce well, and set a positive trajectory for the rest of your life and your family’s future.